Self-Control

Eternal

Eternal Self-Control is a reflection of a really hard break up. It started with a class assignment, we were tasked with creating a painting of an analogy of three words our professor gave us: Cat, Cloud and Gem. I chose Gem and came up with the moto “A gem shines brightest in the dark and together.” Afterwards, I started figuring out the idea of what I wanted to create. I wanted to process my emotions of the break up through this piece. After figuring out my art direction, creating a few sketch iterations, looking for references, start working on the final digital version, I will eventually transfer the digital version onto an illustration board and paint it over with guache.

The idea behind Eternal Self-Control is thriving for each others love through different pursuits. The man on the left is reaching for the mind and the penis, while the man on the right is reaching for the heart and the butt. Each man represents my ex and I respectfully. We both had our own desires and ways of loving each other. There are three aspects or desires I highlighted: The mind (knowledge and maturity), the heart (emotions and connection), and the sex (sexual desire and intimacy). They are all concepts of a modern queer relationship who are equally as important as each other and create a universal language for queer love.

When naming this piece, I wanted to combine the universal and the emtional aspect of the piece. Self-Control by Frank Ocean is a song that help me get through the break up and was important to me. I thought that the title and the lyrics were a great metaphor for the message behind it. The figures are reaching for each other but never touch because they are eternally set to never be together. They are using their own self-control to not harm eachother, but at the same time, when they draw close to each other is when they shine brightest.

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A futuristic warrior with green skin, crouching with a glowing blue energy sword, wearing goggles and gear, set against a neutral background.

A futuristic humanoid character with purple skin and tentacle-like hair, holding green lightsaber-like weapons in both hands, with circular technological symbols behind them, dressed in brown and green armor.

A cartoon illustration of a humanoid alien with pink skin and tentacle-like hair, wearing dark clothing and armor, holding a green lightsaber, standing against a plain dark background.

A digital illustration of a humanoid green-skinned warrior with blue hair, wielding a fiery sword, wearing dark clothing, posed in front of a simple background.

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Character design sheet showing a blue-skinned alien with dreadlocks, wearing clone boots, and wielding pink energy blades. Includes two designs of different weapons, a tattoo to remember Judd on the alien's head, and details about turning off emitter

Character concept art of a female Jedi from Rogue Blades: Jedi Undercover, showing side and back views. She has long dreadlocks, wears large focus headset, dislikes shoes, and enjoys putting tendrils in ponytails. The art includes notes about her hai

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Character sheet concept art of a Star Wars Jedi character, showing three different views and accessories. The character has green skin, yellow eyes, and wears brown and red clothing with armor. The character is shown with a hood and cape, and wields

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Digital illustration of ten different stylized lightsabers with various colors and designs, arranged horizontally on a gray background, each labeled with a name.

A digital sketch of a humanoid character with small horns, light-colored hair in braids, and facial scars. The character wears a yellowish cloak, brown pants, and dark shoes. The sketch includes multiple angles: front, side, seated, and a close-up. T

An illustration of a blue-skinned humanoid with an octopus-like head lifting a dumbbell. The character is shirtless, wearing brown pants, and is positioned in front of a mirror, with the dumbbell raised above repeated on the mirror's reflection.